Gauging My Mental State

Over the past years I have realized the importance of being able to measure my mind. What I mean is that I am not always aware when things might not be going well and then am shocked to find myself in a hole (a.k.a. depressed state) and/or out of it (a.k.a. psychotic). The past 8... Continue Reading →

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An out of it day

Been a while since I've felt out of it yet grounded at the same time. Spending the day seeing things blurring out like reflections off of roads in the rain. And things like logos trying to float off packages.. Trippy! But not in a distressing way to me. Well, I guess it's relative because I'm... Continue Reading →

Trying Happy

I got tired of waiting for my big moment... The day I'd be happy. My mind finally at peace and my paranoia gone. My memory reliable and my motivation revived. I got tired of trying to remember what happy feels like and what caring about dying was. Tired of not grabbing onto the seemingly fleeting... Continue Reading →

On Knowledge & Learning

We only know what we're exposed to. We only know what we grow up being taught and shown. Which means everyone's exposure is different and we cannot know our opinions on things we have not been taught about or seen or experienced. This has been a huge constant lesson for me over the past few... Continue Reading →

Healthy Mind

Health of the mind is quite important and yet for some reason, I think of it as different from my body's health. Growing up I learnt what's good for my body and what isn't but I cannot really recall the same emphasis being made on my mental state. I learnt what the norm is for... Continue Reading →

Being The Best

At some point it became a "fact" that if I can't be the best (or better than most) at something, I'm wasting my time even trying. Forget about simply being able to do it or trying it for the first time. If I am not the best or don't have the potential to be, it's... Continue Reading →

Nature’s Nurturing Ways

There's something I find soothing about sitting outside with a view of trees, listening to the wind and whatever animals make noise. Getting lost in watching trees away as I listen to non-human noises. Taking a break from my normal routine has provided a release valve I needed.. Kinda like the peace I enjoyed my... Continue Reading →

Scared

Solitude. Solace. Sanctuary. Survival. I felt myself heading back to a place I never want to be again.. Well, I guess technically I never left but I haven't been as bad as I was yesterday in a while. The place where nothing is safe and everyone is a clone. The place where my mind is... Continue Reading →

Getting Back “Out There”

After finally finding a routine that worked for me I decided it was time to push myself to be more social than I have been the past few years. Doing it not because I was told to but because it feels like I am ready for it. The tricky part is finding a balance because... Continue Reading →

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